Split Screen Sadness
by theotherbella
Summary: Devastating news makes you think


A/N: So, this is a really really really long over due posting of the one shot I wrote for the Valentine's day countdown, run by breathotwilight. A thank you to her for letting me be involved this time around, and hopefully you guys enjoy the finished product.

I own nothing, save the laptop where it resides. Anything that seems remotely sparkly belongs to a lady called SMeyer.

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Stuff has a different meaning when it's applied to one's belongings. Your 'stuff' as it's commonly referred to, isn't just a random collection of things, but instead the accumulation of your life. They're tangible evidence of what you've been through and who you've become. It's literally who you are.

My stuff, though, was for the better part of my life interspersed with my girlfriend's. She and I were, for lack of a better word, inseparable which made packing up my stuff and putting it in boxes that much harder. the lines were so blurred between what was mine, and what was hers. I sat in the closet, looking at everything and feeling downright confused. I was exhausted, something I'd grown accustomed to recently, and leaned back, crashing into a box. It wasn't anything special; just generic brown, but it was the black lettering on the front that had me intrigued.

**EDWARD AND BELLA**

I smirked, mostly because I'd never seen this box before, and I was sure it'd have something incredibly cheesy inside. So, I tugged the box toward me and pulled back the lid.

My smirk immediately softened into a genuine smile as I took in the contents. Everything was pink and red, some with glitter, some with cut out hearts, some with just our chicken scratch. But they were tied together in a bundle with a red silk ribbon. Bella liked to call it our first Valentine.

Meeting Bella wasn't my choice. She literally bumped into me when we were six at a park in our hometown. I think even as a six year old I knew it was important that I'd met her on Valentine's day.

**February 14, 1993**.

_Even then, she was small for her age. Her brown hair hung long and thick down her back, a red ribbon undoubtedly in honor of the holiday, tied as a headband in it. She had a bright, mischievous gleam in her deep brown eyes that I'd become quite accustomed to over the years. _

_She was on the monkey bars when it happened. I remember being on the landing for the slide and watching her pull herself through the bars, a feet that was extraordinary for a first grader. I thought for sure you didn't learn that until third grade, at least. _

"_You should go push her off," Emmett, my best friend said, jostling me with his shoulder while he chewed on his pudding from lunch. "Girls like that stuff." _

_I screwed up my face and shook my head. "I don't want to touch her. I might get cooties or something. Rosalie gave them to Mike Newton last week, remember? He was out for two days."_

_Em shuddered and nodded. "Good point. But still. I want to go across."_

_I nodded, watching Bella determinedly. I could politely ask her to move. My mother was the one who'd taught me how to use my words after all._

_By the time I'd gotten off the platform and back over to the monkey bars, she'd looped her legs over the bar and was hanging upside down, arms folded over her chest. It was quite impressive. _

_I shuffled my feet for a moment, then looked up. "Um, hello," I called, waiting for the girl to speak._

_One deep brown eye opened, then the other. They both widened, her mouth turning into an 'O' and her face growing redder. At the time, I attributed it to the fact that she was upside down, but after having known her for 20 years, it turns out that's the response she has to me. And just about anything, really. _

_Before I quite knew what was happening, her arms unfolded and shot out. This shocked me, and I remember only having time to put out my own arms before she came crashing into them, and on top of me._

_I laid still for a moment. I remember blinking a couple of times, trying to figure out exactly what happened, and why it now felt like my dog was laying on my chest. Soon, though, the weight on my chest moved and I was nose to nose with the same brown eyes that had just been hovering over me. _

"_I'm sorry," She mumbled, her eyes looking red and lined with tears._

_I did my best to smile, and not think about how many cootie shots I'd need. I'd heard they hurt a bunch. "It's okay. I'm okay."_

_She nodded and her lip quivered. "I'm not."_

_I panicked. This was the first time I'd made a girl cry, and I came to find I didn't like it. I didn't know what to do, so I laid there, beneath her, frozen with fear. "Why?"_

"_M-m-m-m-m-my kneeeeeeeee," She swallowed, her voice shaking like she was. I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back, examining her frame. She had a huge gash on her knee. It was gushing blood, which was pooling in her white tights and on the sand beside us. _

"_Oh," I said, pulling back a little and shaking my head. "Um, my mom says that if you kiss it, it feels better. Does your mom do that?"_

_She shook her head no, and began wiping at her tears. I nodded, and leaned down, pressing my lips just above the cut. "Better," I asked, looking up at her hopefully._

"_EDWARD! EDWARD YOU KISSED A GIRL!" I heard Emmett wailing behind me, but at that moment, I couldn't find it in me to care. _

_She shook her head again, this time huge tears tracing rivers down her cheeks. "But thank you."_

"_ISABELLA!" I heard the monitor call, and it was only then that I realized I hadn't even known her name. "What happened?"_

_Mrs. Cope was an older woman, who spent the majority of her time asleep while we were at recess, so really it wasn't surprising that we'd gone this long without her noticing. "To the nurse at once," she bellowed. _

_Isabella nodded, looking up at Mrs. Cope. She'd tell me later on that the older lady haunted her nightmares as a child because of the way she used to snore. She thought for sure Mrs. Cope had a dragon living inside her, trying to get out. What can I say; my girl had a vivid imagination. _

_Isabella tried getting up, but because of the pain in her knee it took my hand under her arm to get her there. _

"_Edward, walk with Isabella, please," Mrs. Cope said, waving us both off, and undoubtedly trying to stifle another yawn. _

_I nodded, and I remember taking her hand in mine as we started back toward the school building from the playground. "My name is Edward," I told her, smiling a little._

_She smiled back, brushing a few strands of hair from her face and sniffing. "I'm Bella."_

That was one of those moments that defined who Bella and I were together. We were a team, two halves working together and coming together seamlessly. After that day, which ended up with two large band aids over her rather small knee, we were inseparable. I bounced home that day, and told my parents all about my new friend Bella, and how we were going to do all these cool things together. We were going to build a fort and play soldiers as often as possible.

I smiled, thinking about how simple those days were, and how we always seemed to be laughing. Now, though, I was surrounded by silence as I sorted and sifted through my stuff, separating the necessary from the long forgotten; the trash from the keepers. I pulled another box from the back of the closet, and lifted the lid, only to find the one picture I ever asked Bella to destroy. We were 12. We were gawky. I had braces. You get the picture. I traced my fingers over the lines of her face; her lips and her eyes. Bella was the kind of girl who smiled with her whole face, and in this picture she wasn't. My arm was hanging loosely over her shoulders, and I hadn't even bothered to pretend to smile.

**February 14, 1999**

_Valentine's Day turned into an anniversary of sorts for Bella and I. Every year, we exchanged homemade cards, while everyone else in class got the generic, cardboard ones from CVS or whatever. _

_I remembered being apprehensive that year about exchanging that particular year because Emmett, joined by Jasper who'd moved into town three years earlier, informed me that being friends with a girl was weird._

"_Girls aren't for being friends with," Jasper said, searching through the cabinets at his house for food, no doubt. He may have been gangly, but he ate more than Emmett, which I didn't think would ever be possible. _

"_What are they for then," I asked, taking another sip of my soda and feeling completely confident. Whatever it was girls were for, I'd make Bella be that. _

_Jasper smirked looking over at Emmett. "For kissing, Teds. That's why they have lips. You're supposed to kiss them there."_

_My face screwed up again and I scoffed. "Bella's not like that. She's like you guys. Same and everything."_

_They both let out roaring laughs, and shook their heads. "No way, Teddy," Jasper corrected, hopping onto the counter in his kitchen to get at the rice crispy treats his mom would hide on the top shelf. She said we ate too many, which only made us eat more. Of course. "Bella is a chick. She's gonna get a boyfriend, and forget about you."_

_That confused me. _

_Well, among other things. _

_Until that moment, thinking of Bella with a boyfriend was an abstract concept for when we were old. You know, like sixteen. Either way...Bella having that; having what Corey Hill and Jennifer Green had (holding hands in the hallway between classes) seemed...odd. I felt a twinge in the pit of my stomach as my brain ran through images, replacing Jennifer with Bella, and seeing her smile at Corey and laugh at him when he joked. Something didn't sit right about that. _

"_Not Bella," I said confidently. Bella wouldn't leave me like that. "She doesn't want a boyfriend."_

_Emmett laughed. "Every girl does. Even Alice, and she's only nine!"_

_I grimaced at the mention of my sister. She was another one I didn't want to think about with a boyfriend. "I still don't think Bella's like that."_

_Jasper and Emmett exchanged a look, like they knew something I didn't which only served to irritate me more. "Whatever you say," Jasper replied. "Just don't be surprised when she doesn't have time for your little trips to the bookstore anymore."_

"_Or time to make you those cupcake things you like."_

"_Or wants to hang out with you."_

_It wasn't true. I told myself that there was no way Bella would ever stop doing those things. She was my best friend. We did anything and everything for each other._

"_Besides," Em started, shaking a can of whipped cream. "Rosalie told me she has a crush on Mike Newton."_

_That...was a devestating blow. Now it wasn't just some nameless, faceless boy I was picturing Bella with. It was Mike Newton. The very same Mike Newton who hated my guts and told me regularly that I should head back to the cabbage patch and cut my hair. _

_Bella wouldn't do that...she wouldn't like someone like that. _

_The next day, I was completely ready to laugh with her about it and tell her how dumb Em and Jasper were being, but I stopped dead in my tracks as I went toward her locker. Mike was standing there with her, and she was smiling up at him. He was leaning against the closed doors while she laughed, shaking her head coyly. She was giving him a smile I used to think she only gave to me._

_That was the moment I made up my mind that I wouldn't be the one left behind. _

_I pouted (I'll admit now it was pouting; at the time it was very manly sulking) for the rest of the week, and waited for the other shoe to drop. Bella would ask me what was wrong, why I wouldn't look her in the eye but I wouldn't tell her. _

"_Edward, it can't be that bad," She assured me as we walked back to my house from school. It was Valentine's day, and we'd set these plans up well before my friends planted the seeds of doubt. _

"_It's fine, Bella. How many times do I have to tell you," I snapped, shoving my hands deeper into my pockets. I felt bad about it...I really did, but she was the one who was going to get a boyfriend, after all. She was the one who...who was all girly._

"_Geeze, sorry I'm trying to be your best friend," She replied bitterly, edging away from me even more. To my 12 year old self, it was the kiss of death in our relationship. She was moving away from me, even then. It was downright awful._

_Nevermind that I was the one making this my own reality. _

_I didn't say anything more, so we walked in silence. Bella was really good at not speaking when things got difficult or we were disagreeing. She liked to have her answer completely formulated and ready to go before she even thought of arguing with me. She liked being irrefutable, where as I just let it all out. Words flew out of my mouth before I even had a chance to think about them. They were too damn fast, those words. _

_I let her into my house, and we both ambled into the kitchen where my mother was taking out plates for us. She stopped when we came into view and raised an eyebrow. "Well, don't you two look like rays of sunshine," She commented, brushing her hands against a towel on the counter. "Anything you need to share?" _

_I shrugged, but Bella went straight for my mother, wrapping her arms around her. "Hi, Mrs. Cullen," I heard her mumble and I rolled my eyes. It was mostly because I was disgusted with myself and I knew exactly what was wrong. "Thanks for the dessert."_

_I was pulling off my coat, so could only hear my mother asking in a soothing tone if everything was alright. Bella didn't say anything, and I still couldn't see her. At that moment, if I had, I don't think what followed would have happened. I threw myself into my stool, grabbed one of the cupcakes from the dish and began peeling away the wrapper._

"_Edward," Bella called, and when I glanced over at her, she was watching me with wide, confused eyes. "We didn't exchange cards yet."_

_That was how it went at this little celebration. We exchanged cards, hugged and thanked the other before digging into whatever treat my mother provided. _

_I sucked in a deep breath. This was going to be the hard part, and to this day one of the hardest things I ever had to to. "I didn't make you one."_

_The words fell from my lips, and it didn't even feel like I was the one saying them. The voice inside my head was screaming at me to stop; to just...whip something together. She was my best friend, after all. She was the one person who didn't judge me, no matter what I told her, and what I did. Bella was always by my side, and I was delivering blow after blow to our friendship and to her. _

"_What," she asked, her voice sounding soft and fragile. She let go of my mother and came to look at me. _

_This time, because she was so close, it was even more difficult. "I don't have one for you because you aren't my valentine."_

_Bella's face creased in pain, and I heard her gasp. "But..."_

"_But nothing," I said, the calm and nonchalance in my voice surprising me. "It's the truth, so I didn't see the point." _

"_Picture, kids," My dad asked, calling into the kitchen and smiling. "Get together you two."_

_I huffed, but got down off my stool and begrudgingly stood beside her. I could feel the anger and tension coming off of her in waves and I felt like ass about it. _

"_Guys, pretend you like each other," He said, chuckling a little and looking at us with a raised eyebrow. "Or should I come back."_

"_No, Dr. Cullen," Bella replied, inching closer to me. "I have to be home in a little while, anyway." _

_That was a lie, I thought to myself, but decided to let it go. What could I say, anyway? Bella, I'm acting like a bum hole because I think you're going to run off with Mike Newton, and not miss me or be my friend anymore? Of course you're my Valentine? Yeah, no. That wasn't going to fly with her._

_So instead, I sighed, and threw my arm over her shoulder._

_She left after that, my dad driving her home. My mother didn't say anything to me about my and Bella's exchange, and I was grateful for it. I went through my backpack, pulling out my books and jumping back when something red and pink fluttered out and onto the floor._

_I groaned because I knew exactly what it was. _

_I picked up the lopsided heart gingerly and flipped it over to the front, where she'd written in big block letters: TO THE BEST FRIEND I KNOW _

_Only not anymore, I thought._

_The inside was a picture she'd cut into a heart of her and I over the summer, when we were both huddled in the same towel on the beach on the reservation. It was one of those rare, sunny days and we took advantage of it, having our mothers tote us up to the beach to swim. Nevermind the water couldn't have been above 60 degrees. our heads were smashed together, and we were grinning broadly. Nothing could have been better than that._

_On the opposite side, in blue ink she'd written: For Edward, my best friend. happy Valentines day. Love, Bella._

_Love, Bella._

After that day, we didn't speak for a long time. I couldn't say that I blamed her. I'd made her pretty mad, and besides that I didn't even offer to apologize in the following days. Most people would say that we grew up and apart, but I knew better. I'd driven that wedge between us and made sure that we couldn't survive adolescence.

Pre-teen turned into teen quickly, and before I really knew what was happening we were in high school. The time apart had turned us into different people, and to be honest I wouldn't have even known what to say to her. We would pass each other in the halls, and she would look away in disgust. I felt terrible about it, but...there wasn't much I could do.

Or so I thought.

The next valentine was a good one. The Date?

**February 14, 2003**

_Sixteen was a big year, as I imagine it is for most people. I got my license and made varsity baseball for the spring. I was popular, but Emmett and Jasper were still my best friends. They were the only two I ever sought out, or did most things with. If I was with anyone else, it's because they dragged me along._

_They asked me about Bella not being around as much after that fateful Valentine's Day, but I shrugged them both off. It was easier than saying I'd broken her heart. _

_Everyday, I saw her in the halls, and everyday she continued to ignore me. It hurt but...it felt like my hands were tied. So much time had gone by; where would I even start to apologize?_

_But that year; the year we turned sixteen was a turning point, in more ways than one. _

_It was the first year I'd gotten a Valentine from a girl who wasn't Bella._

_Jessica Stanley was one of those girls who blends in with everyone. She changed depending on her friend's preferences, and followed their choices instead of her own. I felt bad that she was that insecure, but I'd only spoken to the girl twice. We didn't have anything at all in common. _

_I knew she'd had a crush on me for eons. She'd stare at me across the cafeteria, and then look away quickly when we made eye contact. I should have expected it, but I didn't. In fact, I never expected any of the girls at our school to notice me because I was too busy with what was going on in my own head. And with one girl in particular. _

_I was walking alone down the hallway that connected the gym to the rest of the school, trying not to remember what the date was. Another Valentine's day without Bella. _

"_Edward," A voice called to me, followed by the clicking of shoes on the linoleum. "Hi, It's me...Jessica," She cooed, smiling like a crazy person._

_I wanted to tell her that obviously I knew it was her; she was standing right in front of me but I resisted, instead only nodding. "Hi, how's it going?"_

"_Oh, great," She replied, sounding almost shocked at the sound of my voice. "You know it's...Valentine's day and all..."_

_Yeah, remind me again, then shoot me in the head. Go for it._

"_And I mean...I made you this," She stammered, thrusting a piece of pink paper at me._

"_Oh, wow," I commented, my eyebrows shooting up to my hairline as I took in the florescent pink with purple marker. "This is...wow." It was an abomination in the history of Valentine's Day cards is what it was. _

"_Yeah, I mean, it seemed appropriate," She beamed, then before I really knew what was happening, her puckered and glossed lips were pressed to mine. I don't think I breathed. _

_It's not that it was my first kiss; far from it, in fact. But it felt incredibly detached. I couldn't even draw a tiny bit of satisfaction from it because...on this day, of all days, this with a girl as ordinary and generic as Jessica Stanley was not what I wanted. This wasn't where I belonged, and if I was being honest, I'd been lying to myself for the last four years. _

_I pulled away abruptly, shaking my head. I felt bad. Jessica looked like I'd just electrocuted her, and I didn't even bother to say I'm sorry before I bolted down the hall. There was somewhere else I definitely _had_ to be. _

_The mile and a quarter to the Swan's was a road that I had traveled frequently, both now and as a kid. They lived in a neighborhood of traditional colonial houses in what could only be considered an idyllic small town. Where as my house was set back in the woods, Bella's was out amongst everyone else's, easy to find. It was like there was a beacon above it, beckoning me home. Back to where I belonged._

_I only faltered when I bounded up the four steps to her front porch. Without the pounding of my feet or the rain over head, my thoughts suddenly invaded my mind again. What the hell was I going to say to her? What could I say? How could I ever atone for...everything? _

_I was still pacing on the porch, my hands laced through my hair when the door swung open._

"_Why're you here?"_

_At the sound of Bella's voice, I stopped cold. She's always had this way, even when we were little, of stopping my mind from racing. It was able to keep me from losing my mind, trying to keep track of every thought that passed through it. _

"_I..." I shook my head, taking her in for the first time in what felt like ages. She was taller, of course, but still slim and small. Her hair still hung straight, past her shoulders and it curled up a it on the ends, most likely from the rain. She'd grown curves in all the right places, and all I could think of was how stupid I'd been. _

"_There was never anyone else, was there," I asked, taking a step toward her. "There was never...it was always you and me."_

_Bella jumped back a little, confusion marring her features. "What're you talking about?"_

_I shook my head, tugging at my hair and the rain only seemed to pound harder on the roof. It was almost deafening. "You...Bella, you were always..." I shook my head, trying to figure something out to say. "it was always you and me, in my head," I somehow got out but even that didn't sound right. _

"_So, you showed up on my porch in the pouring rain to tell me," She started, closing the front door behind her, and taking a step toward me. "That you've been having psychotic delusions of me in your head?"_

_I flinched a little, shaking my head vigorously. "No, not at all. Bella, I meant-"_

"_Cause that's really fucking sick, Edward," She spat, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared at me. "I got the picture when we were twelve and I haven't bothered you since. What else do you have to tell me?"_

_I took a deep breath, realizing that this was going to be harder than it seemed. "No, Bella, that's not it, I promise. It feels like for the last four years I've been in my boat right? In my boat without the other person who's always helped me row and get through the storms, and...and...I can't do it anymore," I panted, shaking my head. "I don't want to."_

"_You seriously just gave me a boat metaphor?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "Besides, You made it perfectly clear how you feel about me. You lost interest. I get it." _

_I tried to shake off the bitter tone in her voice, and I moved forward to tentatively twist her fingers with mine. "I didn't. I thought you would."_

_She didn't say anything, probably because I just hit her over the head with something that was kind of a big deal. _

"_I know it's stupid, and I know that nothing will ever be enough to make it up to you," I mumbled, shaking my head and looking down at our joined hands. She hadn't dropped mine yet, so I wouldn't drop hers. "But I want to try because I don't know how much longer I can pretend the best part of me does't exist."_

_Slowly, very slowly, our eyes met and I saw hers swimming with emotion. Huge, expressive brown eyes looking almost through me with their depth, undoubtedly checking to see if I meant what I was saying. I didn't have anything to worry about because I did. _

_Nothing was ever, nor could ever be more important to me than Bella. _

"_What took you so long," She sighed, a chagrined smile crossing her lips. _

_I puffed out a humorless laugh, shaking my head. "I'm a slow learner. You know this."_

_Bella took a step closer, her chest brushing mine and I shivered. "Yeah, I remember."_

_My hand came up to cup the base of her neck, and my thumb stroked over her throbbing pulse. The electric current that passed between us was still there, still drawing me in and keeping me attached to her anyway it could. It only intensified when my lips were pressed to hers._

_That was what a kiss what supposed to be. It wasn't one sided, and it definitely wasn't unwelcome._

_It was like coming home._

From that Valentine's day on, we were inseparable, just like we had been before. I embraced the playful and carefree side she brought out in me, and I welcomed the relief of not being so serious all the time. Even though it took me years (literally years) to regain her trust, it was worth it. Trust, as they say, grows into love and from love...you can move mountains.

Each valentine that I pulled from our box seemed better than the last. The pinks and reds from high school turned into the more adult hallmark cards that we now exchanged. I started flipping through them, smiling at the words of encouragement she'd written in them to help me get through college and then when I started med school. She stuck by me through the crazy hours, the awful sleep schedules and even my sometimes impossible temper. I literally owed that woman my life. The cards abruptly stopped, though at 2010.

I sighed, feeling my heart sink to my stomach. I knew exactly why.

**February 14, 2011**

_This doesn't happen to people my age._

_That was all I thought as I sat in the doctor's office, Bella's hand clasped tightly in mine. We don't get brain tumors. We don't have to worry about things like this because...they happen to other people. It's a sad story that we've heard once upon a time, but it never actually happens to you._

"_It's operable," the doctor continued, looking carefully between us. "So we'll get you in immediately, Edward. As soon as possible."_

_I could only nod. I didn't know what to say after that. _

_Of all the things it could possibly be, a benign growth was the least life threatening. But at the same time, anyone saying they wanted to cut your head open was a scary thing. Bella held my hand tightly as we exited, and I could tell she was trying not to break down more for my benefit. _

_A million and one things were running through my head. I could die before they get a chance to operate, if something goes wrong with the growth or if I somehow get a concussion. I could die on the table; they could nick and artery and I could bleed out. Either way, I was scared as hell. _

"_You're gonna be okay," I heard Bella whisper, pressing a kiss to my shoulder as she held onto my arm. "I know you are."_

"_You don't," I sighed, not wanting to take out my anger and frustration on her, but feeling it seep out anyway. "Don't say that because you definitely don't."_

_She stiffened beside me, and I felt like shit that I was doing this to her again. I was pushing her away, and taking out my frustration on her, after everything we'd been through. It wasn't fair. _

_Neither was what I was dealing with._

_We got in the car, I put the key in the ignition but didn't turn it. I could only stare at the steering wheel, wondering what our options could possibly be. "I'm terrified."_

"_I know."_

"_I'm afraid I won't wake up."_

"_I know."_

"_I'm afraid you're going to leave me."_

"_Never," She said, her voice strong and confident. "I won't ever leave you; not even once. I'll be there, through everything Edward, I promise."_

_I leaned my head back, then looked over at her. "I can't ask you to make a promise like that."_

_Bella just smiled, and grabbed my hand. "You didn't have to ask. I will. I won't be without you anymore."_

_I sighed nodding a little, then tugged her into my lap. "Thanks. For dealing with my...weird craziness."_

"_Anytime," She grinned, leaning forward to press her lips to mine. I wanted to get lost in her, I realized. I wanted to just be...Edward, again. Not Edward with the big scary tumor. I pulled her closer and felt my tongue snake out for hers, drawing her closer and feeling her moan into my mouth. This was my element. This was exactly how I wanted to spend whatever time I had left._

"_I'm glad it's...I'm glad it's treatable," She breathed, pulling away to catch her breath, lacing her fingers through my hair._

_I nodded, cupping her face in my hand and shut my eyes. "Right now, though...right now...I don't want to think about it."_

_She nodded, kissing me again. "What do you need, baby?"_

"_You. I want...you," I murmured, my lips pressing more hungrily to hers._

"_Anything," Bella sighed, returning the kiss with even more fervor. I loved, more than anything how perfectly in tune we were to one another. And this time, even in the wake of something so life changing, we were still us. That was something to cling to._

_I quickly pulled her top over her head, and my hands explored the familiar silky smooth skin of her back. "I love the way you taste," I told her, my lips gliding slowly across her jaw, and then down her neck. "Sweet...but still...uniquely Bella."_

_She moaned, her head tossing back as I kissed over the swell of her breast which were spilling over the cups of her blue bra. She knew blue was my favorite. She undoubtedly wore it for luck. I tugged down the cup impatiently, thankful for the secluded area we parked in, making this little rendez-vous possible, otherwise there was no way in hell I'd allow this to happen. _

_I sucked one nipple into my mouth, feeling Bella's fingers tighten in my hair as she rocked against me. I could feel my cock coming to life beneath her, and I was dying to be inside her. I could feel her heat through the fabric of her skirt, and I was so glad she'd decided to wear that today, too. It made my job that much easier. My other hand found the opposite breast, and I began mimicking the action of my tongue with my fingers._

"_Edward..." she sighed, breathlessly, her body arching closer to mine. I loved that I made her feel that way; that I was the one to make her come undone. It was a very powerful feeling. _

_I grinned against her flesh, and pulled away, leaning back up for her lips. "You're so fucking beautiful, baby," I murmured, feeling her hands slide down my torso and start fumbling with my fly._

"_I want you," She purred, a playful smile crossing her lips. "Are you really gonna talk to me this whole time, or are you going to show me why I love you like I do?"_

_Her lips fused back to mine, just as her hand slipped into my boxers, stroking my erection in long, languid strokes. "I'll show you," I replied, pushing the crotch of her underwear to the side before she lifted herself over me, guiding my cock into her tight heat. _

_Every time...literally every time I was inside of her, I was still blown away by how perfect she felt around me. She gripped me perfectly, her walls gripping me and pulling me in, wanting more. Bella stilled above me once she'd taken me all the way inside and she was again seated in my lap. We were together; completely joined in the most primal and intimate of ways. Nothing could ever, nor would ever surpass this. it was simply impossible._

"_Baby..." I choked out, my hand squeezing her hip. "I want more."_

_That was all she needed, it seemed. Bella started moving over me, slowly at first but then found our rhythm. I panted as I watched her ride me, her breathing ragged and her eyes hooded with lust. One of my hands reached up to cup her breast, and I felt her shriek when I rolled her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. "Shit, Edward," She moaned, her hand coming to rest over mine. "Fuck you feel so good."_

_I grinned, pushing my lips back to hers. "So do you, love," I murmured, my breath mingling with hers. My tongue came out to swipe playfully at hers while my hips pistoned up to meet her thrusts. "Fucking amazing, every time. All I want to do, is this; feel your tight pussy take my cock over and over again."_

_She moaned against me, her head dropping to my shoulder. Bella loved it when I talked dirty; something about...being out of character or something. I didn't mind. It made her cum twice as hard, which made things extra awesome for me. Basically, a win-win. I started thrusting harder against her, feeling my balls begin to tighten. I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold off much longer, as much as I may have wanted to. She made me feel like that inexperienced 17 year old boy all over again._

"_Baby, can you cum for me," I asked, my hand leaving her breast and going to her clit where I began rubbing rough circles. "I want you to. I want to feel you let go around me."_

"_Unghhh, fuck..." She murmured, her hands fisting my hard as she pushed harder against me, grinding into my hand. Her walls began to flutter around me and she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. She was close-very close. "Edward..."_

_Guh. I loved it when she moaned my name._

"_Do it baby," I commanded, my fingers moving faster. "Cum on my cock. Now."_

"_FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!" She screamed, her head tossing back as her pussy clamped down on me, holding my cock in place. I pushed into her, wiggling a little more until I exploded inside her, her name falling from my lips reverently. _

_Bella was panting heavily as her head fell to my chest, and I pulled her closer, my eyes snapping shut._

"_Thank you," I panted, pressing a sweaty kiss to her temple. _

_She shook her head, arms coming up to wrap around me. "There's nothing to thank me for. I love you."_

"_Love you, too," I murmured._

_In that moment, there was nothing more important than us. Two kids, very much in love._

My surgery was scheduled for a month after that day. Long enough to make sure I had everything in order, just in case. That was why I was cleaning up, anyway. I wanted to at least get all of my things together so that if...if something went wrong she wouldn't have to worry about having to go through it all. I'd separate what I wanted from what I didn't, and then if need be, she could just get rid of it.

If something happened, I didn't want her to have to be surrounded by me.

"You know, that's not going to work," I heard Bella call from behind me. "I"m just going to unpack it when I get home tonight."

"I wish you wouldn't," I told her, picking up the picture of the two of us on the beach again. "I"m only doing this for you."

I felt her hand on my scalp; no hair anymore. I decided I wanted to shave my own head and Bella...God, Bella, did it with me. I told her she didn't have to; I knew how much she loved her hair, but she did it anyway. I didn't think I'd ever seen it shorter than her shoulders, and suddenly it was surrounding me on our bathroom floor. It was by far and wide the most loving thing anyone had ever done for me.

"That was a million years ago," She laughed, falling into my lap and kissing my cheek. "Oh, god, this box? Edward, these are important."

"I know," I replied, leaning my head to her shoulder. "I was just...walking myself down memory lane."

"We'll have others," Bella told me, her fingers tracing lines on my neck. "We'll have tons, in fact."

"But if we don't-"

"Enough," she interrupted, pressing her forefinger to my lips. "I don't want to hear about it because it won't happen. I won't let it happen."

I sighed, feeling her forehead fall to mine. "I'm nervous, I think."

She nodded, kissing me again. "I don't blame you. I'd be more worried if you weren't on the day of a huge operation."

I smiled a little, opening my eyes. "I'm glad I found my way back to you."

She nodded, a sad but beautiful smile tracing across her lips. "I'm glad, too. And promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Always...always come back to me?"

I hesitated, but only for a moment. "Bella, I promise. Somehow, someway...I'll always get back to you. I love you."

She pressed her lips feverishly to mine and I cupped her neck in my hands.

No matter what happened today, or any day after that her and I would always be true. My love, my hope, my life; she was absolutely everything to me.

"Thank you for saving me," I told her, lifting her leg, then bending over to press my lips to the scar on her knee from the monkey bars.

"Thank you for breaking my fall," She replied, her palm against my cheek.

"You were always my valentine," I told her, the words falling from my lips before I could stop them.

She gave me a half smile, sighing. "I know. And you're always mine," She confirmed, kissing me gently. "Always mine."

Always.

No matter what happened, I would always be her valentine.


End file.
